Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended
Summary: An impulsive kiss leads to something far more intimate. Bill/Remus with Sirius/Remus references.
Author's Note: Many thanks to my betas Carrie and Merin.
This is based on Seen Unforeseen RPG events, but should be considered AU. You do not need to follow the game to read the fic, although if you don't normally read, you might consider reading this bit of background info first:
The game is post-OotP, but Sirius was resurrected in early July. Presumed prior S/R relationship until Sirius' death. Shortly before Sirius came back, Remus started his relationship with Bill, so he was very O_o that his old partner was back. Bill broke up with him so he could go back to Sirius and decide for himself where he wanted to be. S/R are currently together, but it's not going very smoothly - they're just 'off'. B/R are still friends, a little awkwardly, but friends; however, they're both still attracted to each other. There is some serious Stuff going on with Sirius, threatening his ability to stay alive (again), which Bill has been helping Snape (of all people) research, and Remus only JUST found out about the threat to Sirius' life. This RP log is about that. You don't have to read the log, but if you want, you can skip down to the very bottom, where it's just Bill/Remus (red/blue) again. This is the launching point of the story. Bill messed around briefly with another man while *cough* under the influence when he was younger, but had otherwise never been with a man until Remus; also, they never got as far as having sex before they broke up. All right. On with the story. Feedback appreciated.
He climbed the stairs to his personal quarters, lost in thought; in fact, he was so turned inward, he failed to notice the hurried strides approaching from behind.
"Remus?" There was suddenly a hand on his shoulder, and he turned with a start.
"Bill - sorry, I didn't hear you coming," he managed, surprised almost beyond words at finding the tall red-haired man standing right there. Touching him. They had been apart only a month, and yet every small touch, no matter how innocent, almost burned him with the reminder of what they'd had. "If you're coming to apologise again for keeping Sirius' secret," he went on, steadily trying to ignore the hand on his shoulder, "it's all right. Really. I know why you had to do it."
Bill shook his head silently, his eyes intent on Remus. Remus returned the gaze, waiting, wondering what he wanted to say, pretending they were not standing as near to each other as they really were.
Then, suddenly, as swiftly as a diving owl, Bill leaned in and captured Remus' mouth in a deep, possessive kiss.
All attempts at coherent thought utterly dissolved; he could only react, kissing back fiercely, almost desperately, as if he might never have this opportunity again. His hands clutched at Bill's upper arms as their mouths moved together roughly. Oh, God ... yes. This is where he belonged, with this man. He needed him so badly. Needed...
He wrenched himself away, though his lips still throbbed from the desperate kissing. "Bill, I ." What was he trying to say? He no longer knew. Every fibre cried out at the separation, and the hunger he saw in those blue-green eyes surely matched what he felt raging through his own system. He couldn't take it anymore. If Bill had set him free to choose, then he was coming back now, with his choice. "I ..."
He gave up on words, instead stepping back in and cupping the back of Bill's neck with one hand, bringing him in for another hungry kiss.
"Remus, are you sure?" Bill managed, barely interrupting his exploration of Remus' mouth as he spoke, the words muffled against his lips.
He pulled back just enough so he could look into Bill's eyes. "I'm sure," he whispered. "Are you?"
Bill only nodded, closing his eyes briefly as Remus used his free hand to smooth a few escaped russet strands away from Bill's face. "I've known since before I went to Egypt - all I want is you, Remus," he said quietly. One large hand slid around to the small of Remus' back, pulling their hips together tightly. "Do you see what you do to me?"
He gasped at the unmistakable feel of Bill's erection, now pressing urgently into his thigh. His own arousal surged in response, and he pushed back against the taller man's groin reflexively.
It was Bill's turn to draw a sudden breath in reaction to Remus' hardness against him. "I want you," he rasped, bending to suck at the point just below Remus' ear.
Remus smothered a groan as the warm lips and tongue found sensitive spots, the sound echoing up to his ears. Through the fog of desire, he became dimly aware of the fact that they were still standing in a public corridor where anyone could see - and hear - them. "Not here. My rooms closer " he managed, stepping backward and pulling Bill with him.
Bill actually straightened up at that, breaking into unexpected laughter. "Do you see that, Remus? I've always been one to act first and think later, but whenever I'm around you, I don't seem to think at all." He leaned in for a short but no less heartfelt kiss. "And to think, I was ready to strip those respectable robes off you and do unmentionable things right here on the landing."
Remus laughed in response, his earlier tension falling away as he responded to Bill's easygoing warmth. But soon the laughter faded as their hunger for each other outstripped all other needs. "Well," he said, his voice low, "then I think we should get out of the public view as soon as possible." He turned and walked towards his quarters as swiftly as his aching erection would allow, trusting Bill to follow. Sure enough, after a handful of steps he felt the light touch of Bill's hand on his shoulder again, his stride deceivingly casual, as if he and Remus were simply going off to discuss the latest DADA theories. Innocent though it might have looked, that touch only fueled his desire - increasing his need to be touched elsewhere, to feel skin on skin.
As soon as they were inside Remus' rooms and the door had closed, all pretense of decorum vanished. Bill pressed him up against the door and, once again, ground his pelvis against Remus'. "So, about those unmentionable things " Bill murmured, his agile fingers already working at the fastenings of Remus' robes. In moments he had them undone and was pushing the garment unceremoniously off his shoulders and onto the floor. Bill immediately reached for Remus' shirt buttons, intent on undoing them as well, but stopped as the older man abruptly curled a scarred hand around his, stalling him. Then Bill smiled, stooping to capture Remus' mouth in another kiss. "It's all right, mate. I remember them well. They're part of you, just like these are part of me." Letting go of Remus, Bill pulled his own black t-shirt out of his waistband, lifting it up to show some of the work-related scars which graced his own torso.
Remus nodded as he reached out to pull Bill's t-shirt off the rest of the way, then traced an intimate finger along a scar on Bill's side. It had been instinctive, that long-buried need to hide the damage he'd done to himself, and he felt almost foolish for hesitating at all, interrupting the urgency which had brought them here. Bill had seen him, after all - maybe not as often as Sirius had, but he had seen him, and had never even flinched. Remus watched as Bill sucked in another breath at the touch, then reached up and undid one of his own shirt buttons in renewed invitation.
"Let me." Bill moved more slowly with the fastenings this time, holding Remus' gaze as he did so.
When all the buttons were undone, Bill pushed the shirt back just far enough to expose Remus' collarbones, then bent to run his tongue along the ridges; slowly, he inched the worn garment off, kissing and caressing more and more skin as it was revealed, until the entire thing fell to the floor on top of the discarded robes.
The moment it was off, Remus pulled Bill toward him so he could kiss the taller man again. Their mouths met in a hungry crash of lips and teeth and tongues. Holding still as Bill worked his attentive way over his shoulders, his nipples, and the numerous scars had been agonising; his need for more was becoming urgent. He slipped one leg between Bill's slightly parted ones, then slid his hands down to cup Bill's denim-clad arse and pulled him closer still. They were now pressed together almost everywhere, bare chests meeting skin to skin, mouths kissing wetly, deeply, and hips pushing against each other almost painfully. The friction of his remaining clothing was becoming almost unbearable on his trapped, eager cock. Too much had separated them until now; he wanted, more than ever, for there to be nothing between them. No clothing, no complications nothing but them.
"Off," Remus managed, wedging one hand between them and scrabbling at the top button of Bill's jeans. The red-haired man nodded, stepping back only slightly so Remus could better undo the button fly; the edge of Bill's boxers came into view. He paused then, thumbs hooked inside both the jean and boxer waistbands, and looked up into Bill's slightly flushed face. Bill nodded silently and, with that permission, Remus tugged both jeans and boxers down, easing them over the jut of Bill's erection, until they pooled inelegantly at his ankles; Bill swiftly undid his boots, stepped out of the offending clothing and kicked it to one side.
Remus drew in a breath at his first complete sight of Bill. "God, you're beautiful," he murmured, his eyes wandering from the broad shoulders, appealingly dotted with freckles, to the long, sturdy torso, following the trail of red hair just below his navel to where it bloomed into a thatch of even darker red curls around his cock, then all the way down the long legs.
Bill shrugged, giving a small laugh. "If you say so, Remus."
"I do." He ran a hand down Bill's chest and along the hollow of his groin, avoiding direct contact with the obviously-eager erection which stood before him.
Bill groaned in response, leaning in to kiss Remus ferociously while his hands unceremoniously worked at the fastenings of Remus' trousers, sliding his hands under the fabric to cup Remus' arse before following his example and pulling trousers and boxers down in a single gesture.
This time nothing separated them as they came together, kissing and touching. Their cocks brushed against each other as Remus rocked his hips against Bill's, and Bill responded by sucking hard at the pulse point of Remus' throat. "God, Remus," he moaned. "Never never felt anything like this." Then he raised his head and looked down at his partner with slightly sheepish eyes. "I have to confess, however" - a breath as Remus' fingers found a particularly sensitive spot - "I'm not entirely sure what to do next."
Remus smiled. "Then let me show you," he whispered, turning them so Bill's back was to the wall. He gave Bill a long, thorough kiss, then slid his body down, fingers caressing the length of Bill's spine as he went, until he knelt on the rug, his hands curved around Bill's hips. There, in front of him, was the evidence of the other man's need, long and hard and slightly curving.
He held his mouth over the tip, but did not touch it immediately. Instead, he spent a few moments teasingly breathing hot air over Bill's shaft, until the other man pushed his hips toward Remus with a strained "Please."
Obligingly, he licked the drop of moisture from the tip, then, without further preamble, slid his mouth over the entire length, and sucked, hard. The groan from above seemed to reverberate through his bones, and only served to arouse him further. It had been so long since he had felt that power, that connection, that ability to elicit such a reaction from another man; but there was also a newness, and he reveled in letting his tongue explore every vein and crevice, learning just where the most sensitive spots were and experimenting with the suction to prolong Bill's pleasure.
Bill was scrabbling at the wall behind him now, his back arched away from the stone as he thrust forward into Remus' mouth. "God, Remus," he gasped. "Can't can't hold on much longer."
Remus didn't pause or even slow down in response to Bill's warning. Instead, he shifted his hands to cup Bill's arse and slid his tongue all the way up the underside of his shaft, sucking hard yet again in the process. With a shattered breath and an incoherent cry, Bill came in his mouth and he got his first taste of the man he loved.
He released Bill as the taller man all but collapsed to the floor, pulling Remus on top of him. "You are bloody brilliant," Bill murmured, after planting a lingering kiss on Remus' mouth.
"I don't know about that." But he couldn't keep from smiling, quietly happy that he had been able to bring Bill pleasure.
The red-haired man rolled Remus onto his back on the soft rug, pressing his hands above his head and pushing his own hips against the evidence of Remus' unrelieved arousal. "Your turn," he whispered, kissing him again. "Anything in particular I should do?"
Remus drew a sharp breath as the jolt rushed through him. "Just do what you feel comfortable with," he said hoarsely, reaching up to undo Bill's ponytail. Dark red hair fell in a curtain around their faces. "Do what you enjoy, yourself."
Bill nodded, the ends of his hair swishing against Remus' collarbones. "All right." He let go of Remus' hands and sat back against his thighs. One large hand closed around the erection in front of him and, after shifting his grip slightly, began to pump in a steady rhythm.
Remus concentrated on trying to keep air in his lungs as Bill's hand moved rapidly up and down his rigid shaft, but found it increasingly difficult after Bill's other hand slipped between his thighs and began to tease his balls. He spread his legs a little to give the younger man better access, feeling Bill shift his weight slightly on Remus' thighs to allow the movement.
"Is this all right?"
He nodded, unable do form much in the way of coherent thought. "Just move your thumb a little right-" His sentence was cut off in a gasp as Bill instinctively shifted his grip, his thumb now placing pressure just under the head of Remus' cock.
Bill worked him up and down a little while longer, his other hand slowly slipping further between Remus' legs, caressing the narrow path of skin behind his balls. Then, abruptly, he slid his body down Remus' shins and took him into his mouth.
Remus' hips thrust up in response to the unexpected wet warmth, a gesture he couldn't have controlled if he'd tried. Bill wasn't as confident in his movements as Sirius or his few prior lovers, but it hardly mattered. His orgasm ripped through him in seconds, his strangled cry and blind grab for Bill's head the only warning he was able to give before he was arching up into Bill's mouth and spilling his release.
"Sorry about that," he gasped as he started to come back to his senses. He wasn't sure if Bill had been really ready to handle that aspect of sex with a man yet; was it too much?
Bill stretched out beside him on the rug, grinning. "No worries, mate. It actually wasn't half bad." He winked. "I could definitely be talked into doing that again."
Remus gave a small relieved sigh as he shifted to his side and kissed Bill. "I think that could be arranged."
A chuckle. "Think it could be arranged to move to your bed? As nice as your floor is, I'm thinking a bed might be better."
He laughed too as an incredible lightness such as he hadn't known for weeks stole over him. They picked themselves off the floor and moved to Remus' bed, sliding in and curling up together as if they had done this more than the handful of times before their breakup.
Bill's arms wrapped around him from behind. "I hope Sirius won't be upset," he murmured against Remus' hair.
Remus sat bolt upright in bed. He was alone. Sticky pyjamas made him grimace - wasn't he a bit old for this sort of dream? But he had not been able to get Bill's kiss out of his mind - clearly his subconscious knew more than he was willing to admit to himself. He wanted Bill, pure and simple. But it was more than that, he knew, recalling the ease he'd felt in the dream, the ease he still felt thrumming beneath the awkward exterior of their recent encounters. Something fit with Bill, fit the way he used to fit with Sirius, but somehow no longer quite seemed to do. He had been willing to keep his commitment to Bill when Sirius had first returned, as a sort of 'but you were dead' default. But to make the deliberate decision to walk away from Sirius while he was alive unnerved him. Sirius had helped shape him, had been there for him in ways most humans could not even consider. Yet there was something missing with them nowadays, something intangible, but missing nonetheless. And he knew he had it with Bill - or he could.
Distractedly, he reached for his wand on the bedside table and cleaned up the mess, then settled back against the pillows. Flashes of the dream paraded through his mind, but he tamped down on them resolutely; now that he was aware of the depth of his thoughts, it felt horribly like infidelity to even fantasize about them.
How long would it take, he wondered, until he could convince himself that he and Sirius would once again have that same passion and understanding?
20 August 2004
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