Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to Melinda Metz, et al.
Author's Note: Thank you Jessamyn for beta-reading!
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These are bad times.
The things I endured in the white room with Pierce were terrible, physically and emotionally. But seeing the girl I love suffer is causing me more pain than I ever thought possible. How can we have these special powers and yet be so powerless to do something about these nightmares Isabel has been having? In the past, Dreamwalking was always been something fun for her. I've never been too crazy about the idea of her wandering around in people's heads, but it never seemed to cause any real harm, either. But now it *is* causing harm harm to my beloved Isabel.
It's killing me to see her so upset. She's living this nightmare over and over in her head, without even knowing if it's real or just a dream. I wish I could receive the visions instead, to spare her, but I can't. I don't share this Gift of hers. All I can do is what I've always done: listen to her, believe her, believe *in* her. Stand by her side as she talks to Valenti and the others. Give her all my support. I've hardly left her side all week.
It doesn't feel like enough.
But I'm still here, doing what I can. I love her so much and I'm feeling so helpless right now. She's hunched up on her bed, forlorn and afraid. I want to just take her in my arms and hold her, protect her. I would hold her day and night if I thought she would let me, but she's been so distant lately, so I hold back. All I have left are my words. What can I say that will take away her pain, make her realize that she's not alone, convey that I'll always be here for her?
"Isabel, you are my sister." Damn. I'm not sure why I just said that. I guess I'm too used to playing along with society's expectations. They see us as sibs, so that's what I do. But it's not how I feel at all.
"You yell at me, you second-guess me, and you piss me off." Trying to cover up the "sister" remark with some humor before I move on to what I really want to say.
"You also saved my life. Now, I don't care what we've been through. I still believe in you. I always will." Did she hear the love in my voice as I said that? I look at her, meet her beautiful brown eyes, try to convey how I feel, how deep and everlasting my love is with my gaze and my words. I'm not sure if it worked or not her face is still contracted, pained.
Giving up for now, I tell her to get some sleep and I go back to my room, giving her one more heartfelt glance as I leave.
I wish I didn't have to use these roundabout ways of expressing myself. I wish I could just come right out and say, "I love you, Isabel." Well, I have, but only in context of trying to make her feel better about something. And she's needed that a lot lately. The whole Vilandra thing has done something to her, broken her inside. She has needed my words of comfort and I have given them freely.
But I would much rather say "I love you" the way a boy loves a girl, a man loves a woman. Isabel has been by my side from the moment we broke out of the pods, and she has had my heart ever since. She is my other half, she makes me complete. I heard someone use those words at a wedding once, and it described my feelings for Isabel perfectly. When we were children we'd sometimes put on a pretend wedding of our own. We'd even say those traditional vows. Isabel would usually have to prompt me to remember all the lines, but I always remembered this one on my own: "In good times and in bad".
We might have been playing, but I took that line very seriously, even as a little kid. I wanted to be with Isabel no matter what in good times and in bad. Of course, for most of our lives, that was pretty easy to accomplish. Did our parents wonder why we almost never fought? Did they realize how lucky they were or did they think all 'sibs' got along so well? It's only been in the past year or so that my vow has been tested. But it's not much of a test, really. I could no more abandon Isabel during "bad" times than I could cut off my arm. Without her, I am no longer whole.
I used to think she felt this way about me too, but now I'm not so sure. In recent months she has pulled away from me and I miss her terribly.
My head jerks up as I hear the scream from her room. Oh my god, what happened?
The cry comes again and I am already halfway down the hall, my feet pounding as I sprint for Isabel's door, pulling my powers into a state of readiness to combat whatever it is that's causing her such terror. I feel a brief moment of relief when I see that she's not being kidnapped, but I see immediately that something else is holding her captive the dreams.
"I'm here Isabel, wake up!" I try to penetrate the grip of the nightmare with my voice as I lean over her, trying to stop the thrashing.
It's not working, and I'm getting desperate. I'm also feeling the stress of my built-up but unused power. Frantically I modulate the energy from physical attack mode to communication. We haven't used this nonverbal form of expression since we first came out of the pods, but instinct takes over in my desperation to do *something*, anything. I send my thoughts directly into her brain, calling her out of the darkness, showing her the way back to safety. Using my love as a light to guide her path.
It works. I can feel her mental grasp as she reaches for me and I pull her out, out of the abyss. And now she's awake she sits up and clings to me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close. It's a gesture of comfort again, not of passion, but I use the opportunity to reinforce my message of love anyway.
"I'm here, Isabel," I tell her, murmured words in her ear. "I will always be here." Despite the seriousness of the situation, my heart is somehow lightened by the fact that she called for me me in her need. She knows I will always come.
I remember my vows.
And I take my promises very seriously.
Click here to read Parted
|DC Slash||Harry Potter||Ros. Hetero||Ros. Slash||Ros. Other|